Saturday, April 01, 2017
Today I am grateful for April Fools jokes. I’ve already told a lot of you what the best one ever was, but I will remind you again, just in case you’re not paying attention.
My granddaughter, Izzy, turns 14 today. She comes by the date honestly. A few years ago we were headed to their house, about an hour away, for her birthday. We had made our usual pee stop for Grandpa at the McDonalds about 20 minutes from their house, but I didn’t have to go.
By the time we pulled in the driveway my bladder felt like a balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade. I rushed past my granddaughter and her brother-of-choice- friend, Domenic, shoving them out of the way to get to the powder room.
As I’m sitting there doing my business. . .my big bottom is getting warm. “What the HELL!” I say out loud. Their laughter in the kitchen grew to roaring train decibel. “What did you do you evil kids!?” I shouted from behind the bathroom door, my sharp thumbnail poking a merciful hole in the saran wrap they had stretched on the toilet under the seat. “You just wait until I get my hands on you! You are both dead! And I’m not cleaning up this bathroom!”
I used up a bunch of toilet paper and half a box of “wipes” before I felt comfortable enough to join the hysterical group on the other side of the door. The gruesome twosome met me wearing huge rubber gloves and holding a bucket full of spray cleaners, paper towels and a mop.
“You got grandma?” my evil son, her dad said. “You got GRANDMA? You got her good!” Yea, they sure did. We are all still laughing about it. But I admit that I never, ever go to the bathroom in their house without checking for saran wrap. Ever.
So what’s your best April Fool joke? Either played on you or that you played on someone else. Go.