Thursday, January 12, 2017
Today I am grateful for self-imposed restrictions. I haven’t been sleeping well. There are probably more reasons for this than I care to go into, but the truth is that I am a bear if I don’t get enough sleep. Not a cute, rolling in a tub of water bear, but the grizzly that’s ready to rip the roof of your car off. So I need sleep.
I was catching between 4-5 hours a night for a week and that’s just not enough. All of the books say you NEED between 8-9 hours a night to be healthy. But what if it just won’t come? What if you fall asleep just fine, but can’t stay there? If I go to bed around 11and wake up at 7, that would be good. But I don’t wake up at 7. I wake up at 3 or 4, lay there until 5, get pissed and get up by 6. Not every night, but a lot lately.
If I go to be earlier, say 9:30 or 10, I figured then I’d sleep longer. Nope, up at 2. . .then play out the subsequent numbers yourself and end with me up and functioning poorly at 4! So try later. Midnight. If I’m really, really tired. . .and can manage to not nap in the chair, then probably I’ll get at least 6 or 7 hours. Until 4. When I’m up again, wanting to call all of you who are playing the same damned game.
I don’t want to hate Himself, but that man can get up 5 times in the night to pee, flop right back down in bed and BAM he’s out like a light. Usually with me staring at him and counting his every breath and snort. It’s maddening! It’s unfair. It’s marriage.
I don’t keep a cell phone or computer in the bedroom, but I suddenly realized (don’t gotta hit me with a brick) that I am often on them very late into the night. I’m watching TV, but also on Facebook, poking around, stirring up trouble or solving the problems of the world with my opinions and comments. Didn’t know I was so powerful, did you?
So last night, exhausted, I told a friend early in the evening that I wasn’t going on the computer after 7 anymore. Or watching the nightly news. Especially politics. Or local news. . .6 children killed in a fire? Who can sleep after hearing that? Or texting, or chatting on the phone, or doing anything that interferes with my circadian rhythm.
Last night was the test. I confess I reached for the computer a half dozen times, but stopped myself. I fiddled with the mouse like a smoker clicking a lighter just be sure it still worked, in case I wouldn’t be strong enough to quit. But I didn’t turn it on.
I went to bed at 10:30, got up once to use the facilities at round 2:30, then fell back to sleep. . .did you get that part? I really need you to hear it. I FELL BACK TO SLEEP. . .until 7:15. That’s over eight hours, folks. For me! And I feel great today.
So the upshot of this way-too-long declaration is that if I haven’t posted my blog by 7 p.m. eastern time, don’t look for one until the next day. If someone needs profound advice; or the world is in turmoil; or my immediate response is required or you are sure I never was your friend in the first place; or cats are lost; or people are leaving dogs in the cold; or politicians are being nimrods; or your pedicure polish stuck to your carpet, that’s too bad.
It’ll have to wait until morning. Because I am logging off at 7 p.m. Shutting down. Debriefing my body and brain. Preparing for sleep like I prepare for the holidays. Play nice amongst yourselves. I’ll be catching some ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ’s