Thursday, May 25, 2017
Today I am grateful I am not a mountaineer. Perhaps I am the least motivated person in the world. I’m not sure because I don’t talk to everyone in the world, but I have not now, nor never have I had the desire to climb Mount Everest. Or even Chocolate Drop Mountain, for that matter, although if the goal is to gobble chocolate at the summit, I might reconsider.
What driving force am I missing because I don’t want to trek “UP” a hill in temperatures of minus (yes minus) 10 to 25 degrees? Where is the flaw in my character that I don’t want to endure 65 mile per hour winds, potential avalanches and frostbite? Is enduring asthma enough to make me wonder why anyone on God’s earth would choose to claw their way up a mountain, hand over foot, like a Sherpa on speed while breathing only 1/3 of the normal amount of oxygen a body needs? Yes.
Do I need to become a statistic, dying from altitude sickness a few hundred yards from the top of the mountain like ten people have this year? No thanks. What’s the point? Is conquering a mountain so important to self-worth? Not mine. I’m good. You go ahead. I’ll read about you in the news. . .over and over again.
They say Mount Everest is getting too crowded, with long lines of people trekking ahead and behind you. Some of those people don’t know what they are doing so I’m picturing them caterwauling down the hill like a production of Rube Goldberg Dominoes On Ice. It would be a disservice to all if I joined that line. You’re welcome.
So after careful consideration, I have decided not to become a mountaineer. I will not scale a mountain, climb up a hill, or conquer a drumlin. If you love doing this, if it’s your passion, you go knock yourself out! Have a blast. As for me. . . I have enough problems trying to conquer the bathroom scale!