Gardening

a spudling

Tuesday, August 18, 2020

Today I am grateful for gardening. As a gardener I make a half way decent writer.  I think I’m going to have to stick with the later.

 

Yes, many of you might remember the picture of Spud, my potato who grew roots, got a gnarly face drawn on by me, was cut to bits and planted in a pot to reproduce spudlings.

 

Well this is it, folks.  Drum roll please, ONE lousy, tiny spudling smaller than my thumb nail!  C’mon, Spud, you coulda done better than that, buddy.

 

So, let’s just do a count of my garden bounty.  I got about 8 extra long Chinese string beans, which I planted from seed.  My back-patio tomato plant produced two ripe tomatoes and one which was rotten on the vine.  There is another cluster of about four of them growing as I type and there was one with the aforementioned rot, which I plucked off and pitched into the yard for the squirrels to gnaw on, so they keep their grubby teeth off of my patio furniture and grill wheels.

 

There was about one meal of some kind of leafy lettuce that was marginally okay, but looked better in the pot than it tasted as a salad.  My red pepper plant on the front porch has been the most prolific, but I have yet to cut them up to see how hot they are.  Also, I only use them in Indonesian dishes and can’t really get along with peppers otherwise.  Figures.  Swell.

 

The front porch tomato plant produced one tomato.  One.  When I pulled it off I noticed a bunch of other blossoms, but they were shriveling on the vine so I had Himself do and Ensign Pulver with the thing and toss it into the trash because we don’t have an ocean in our front yard so he couldn’t do the same as what happened to the Captains palm tree in the movie Mr. Roberts.

 

My herbs look great.  I don’t want to be totally negative about gardening.  I can spread basil all over the world, but why do I buy dill, because now it looks like an alien climbing up the house.

 

I figure we spent about fifty bucks, or more, probably more, on potting soil, plant food, seeds and tomato/pepper plants.  Then add in the water and the personal care and little chats I had with everything.  “Grow you sonofabitch or you’re history.”  Do you think that was the problem?

 

I think I’ll write Matt Damon and ask that “Martian” what his secret was.  Never mind.  I remember. And while there is no shortage of that sort of
“waste” here, there is also a Shop Rite close by so those drastic measures were not taken!

 

I don’t have to cut up, or fry my mini-spudling in a pan.  I can pop it in my mouth and swallow it whole, like I do a vitamin.  Or I can eat a ten- dollar bill.  Same result.  Gardening is so great.  For someone else!

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1 Response to Gardening

  1. Donna Lukshides says:

    So much of this sounds familiar. Thanks for lightening my day !

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