Friday, June 30, 2017
Today I am grateful for pedicures. I would get a pedicure every week if they didn’t cost money! I just love them.
I get very irritated when nail polish is chipped. Ask my granddaughters! “Take it off or paint over it,” I tell them all the time. Even on toes. Well this morning I woke up and half of the polish was off my big toe. Horrors! I thought about painting it myself, at least to get through water aerobics, but I didn’t because I had to put a shoe on. I hate schmootzed polish,too.
I haven’t searched the bed for the corpse of the bright pink chip, but it might have fallen off earlier and I just didn’t notice, though I doubt it.
I know there are some guys who paper themselves with manicures and pedicures, but I’ve never seen any when I was there. They are missing the boat. And I’m glad. Because men are everywhere and I don’t want equal rights on this. I don’t want “Ellen” to be replaced by “Sports Talk” on the salon TV. I don’t want the girls around me to sensor their chatter because guys are there. And I don’t want them to know that there is a massage chair that has better hands than they do and it doesn’t snore, burp, or fart on cue.
Go hit a little ball on a big green lawn, trying to get it in a sunken Dixie cup. Scream over a piece of leather while guys crash into each other and run like hell through pic-up-stix. Listen to the squeaky shoes of tall, skinny dudes trying to sink balls through big fishing nets. Stay out of my nail salon. I enjoy a pedicure much more without you.