Thursday, May 04, 2017
Today I am grateful for the Jeopardy Vacation Give-a-way! Because we are going to win this trip with Alex Trebek, just as sure as I’m typing. I’m positive we’ll win. Not one doubt in my mind. How on earth can I be so certain? Because it’s the Galapagos Islands and it’s only place on earth Himself would never, not ever choose to visit.
Because of iguanas. He’s not a fan. Big time. Hates any crawling thing without fur. He barely co-existed with the cicaks (chee’-chahks) that lived all over our walls in Indonesia and they were really cute. Every morning one would skitter around trying to get out of the kitchen sink. Every morning it freaked him out. Until one day I suggested he lay a large wooden spoon in the sink on an angle for the thing to use as a bridge. He’d open the bedroom door and see it scurrying up the makeshift-ramp. Pre-setting the spoon became a nighttime ritual.
When one of our kids was a teenager he had a chameleon that got out of the cage in his bedroom. I will always remember the three of us searching that bedroom, sure that it had escaped into the house proper. Then Himself moved the gold mesh curtain to toss something out the window and the thing, which had changed color to match the curtains, moved quickly. But not fast enough to be spared being side-slapped out the window. Sad, I know. But it was also hilarious. It lived on the roof after that. Away from the crazy person.
Many years ago we stayed with friends in North Carolina. They were dears and gave up their bedroom to us, but not before mentioning that their iguana, two-feet long and in a gargantuan cage in the corner of the bedroom, “sometimes” moves around at night. Swell. We were all tucked in when the beast went ballistic, throwing itself against the cage walls, swinging the sticks and tipping over dishes like he was the star in his own demo-derby. Himself bolted upright shouting a string of obscenities that could have melted its hide. Both of them slept with one eye open all night long.
So each night when I enter the clue for the Jeopardy Galapagos Vacation, he reminds me that he has never, not ever wanted to visit a place full of reptiles. I remind him that there are seals and cute furry things, too, but he’s not buying it. Hates the whole idea. So we will win for sure! When should I start packing, Alex?