Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Today I am grateful to “take one for the marriage team”. Over the holiday I recorded and am now watching the entire “Game of Thrones” series. Himself is a big fan. So are some of our kids and grandkids. I want to be knowledgeable during the discussions and role-playing games of war and winter, but YIKES.
Spoiler alert, but if you haven’t watched it by now you probably either won’t or don’t care if I spoil it. The truth is that I am so confused I’m not sure I can spoil anything for anyone. Every time I even remotely think I might have a clue, or not despise a character. . .that he/she might be someone I can feel connected to, their head winds up on a stick. How many heads on sticks do you need in one show? Dozens. Apparently. And if it’s not on a stick its dropped on the floor in front of someone or sent by messenger to someone else in a box. So many heads. So little time. Geeze!
I don’t like movies with a lot of violence. Go ahead, keep laughing. I’ll wait. Are you done, yet? Yeah, well I had no clue how far this one would go and I’m shocked that my grandkids are watching this on-going massacre.
I’m no prude, yet would still prefer sex to violence. No problem there. “Thrones” delivers on all counts. But come on folks! When it’s freezing cold and ever man in the orgy is wearing full fur, leather and boots, yet the harlots are padding around buck naked, I gotta wonder who wrote this! And why? And every single whore is built like a Playboy Bunny and has beautiful skin and high, perky breasts, not to mention everything else that’s perky. It’s depressing. And unrealistic. And if it’s cold for the women’s parts, why don’t they show the men’s parts in the cold? Shrinkage, that’s why. I watched Seinfeld.
So there are heads on sticks and slit throats and naked women who don’t freeze to death and family members begat by other family members and beautiful scenery and ice walls, yet you never see anyone’s breath from the cold. Hmmmmm. There is a castle being taken over every time you turn around and more kings than you can fit in the Coliseum. There are white walkers (dead icy things) and wolves and dragons.
The viewing of “Game of Thrones” is starting to sound like a classroom lesson.
Me: Who is that guy, now? It’s so dark I can’t even tell. They all look alike to me!
Himself: That’s the brother of “whoever”.
Me: And who is that again?
Himself: You remember, the brother of the one who got his throat slit.
Me: Be more specific. Half of the cast has had their throat slit. I think a long neck must have been in the casting call specs.
Himself: Pause it and I’ll explain. (I do and he further explains. . .for fifteen minutes.) Do you get it, now?
Me: Oh sure. I got it alright. Winter is coming and someone’s head is going to wind up on a stick and anyone still alive is going to have their throats slit. Got it.
Not much gets past me in G.O.T., as long as Himself does a play-by-play. It’s really not my thing, except that there be dragons! Starting Season 4 soon. I’m happy to take one for the marriage team. I guess! Yikes!