Thursday, September 29, 2016
Today I am grateful for togetherness. It rained today and while the ground is sucking it up like the Sahara, Thursday is the day Himself golfs. They had to cancel. He was glad it rained the whole day and didn’t get nice later. The sun coming out later is just mean when you’ve had to cancel plans.
Some of his golf cronies are getting up there. This year one started having a few issues and decided no more golf. Or did his wife decide for him. Doesn’t matter because both were right. He’s 95 and still shot his age. A couple of the other guys dropped out for various health reasons years ago. They are down from two foursomes to one foursome and half the time it’s only three. I know this makes Himself sad so I offered to help.
“I will play golf with you,” I said, in my most gracious tone. I wish I could type a “look”. “I’m serious.” I wasn’t giving up just because of a glare. “I hate that you are losing so many players and I know you love playing even though the new putter wasn’t the magic you thought it would be because it was in YOUR hands and I will start golfing again. For you.”
“For me?” he replied. “You’re going to start golfing for me?”
“Yes. But only if you let me drive that cool golf cart thingy. I love that thingy!”
“Think of how much fun we could have? Remember when we went to the Delaware on our picnic and you gave me the rod for a second so that I could say I fished, too?”
“How could I forget? You didn’t catch anything but green bass! And you cast the rod four times and created such a birds nest of tangled line that I had to cut it and start over.”
“I saved the lure. Just think how I could save the day on the golf course.” Bet he doesn’t want me to play because he’s afraid I’ll show him up. “Let’s plan it for next week.”
“I’m busy next week.” He was going down hard.
“We don’t have to play on Thursday. We could play any day.”
“Or never!” he was really getting worried. “Now hear this. I will never play golf with you. Been there, done that. You don’t take the game seriously and we almost got kicked off the golf course last time because you were driving the cart like a maniac and swinging your club like you were playing polo!”
“I didn’t have a horse. What was I supposed to use?”
“You throw your clubs if you miss a shot, swear, stomp around, bitch because people are moving up from behind too fast pressuring you and are generally a royal pain in the ass.”
“So that’s a no, then on me golfing with you?” I needed clarification.
“Definitely. No! Nyte! Nein! Nada! Never again! And that’s my final answer.”
“Okay then. I’ll stick with fishing.” There’s that “look” again! You gotta love togetherness.