Friday, August 26, 2016
Today I am grateful for Leonard. . .again! Hey, it’s National Dog Day so I get one more shot at this character before he goes home. If we let him!
Here’s the thing about Himself and dogs. With all of the animals we’ve had and watched and rented in our 34 years of marriage, the man has never, ever, not ever, had control of any of them. Never. Did you get that? Never. He’s just not trainable.
If a dog jumps up, he doesn’t say, “Down” or put his knee up. He says, “Wait, you stupid beast, get back, I don’t want you jumping on me.” The dog hears, “Let’s play!” And the games are afoot.
Just before dear Leonard (He should be called “Oh Leonard”, because I must have said that a million times.) was to go home, he was crawling all over Himself. Turns out that if they’re not in correctly, when his hearing aids whistle (John’s, not Leonard’s). . .it is the same frequency as the training whistle connect to Leonard’s collar to make him come.
So Leonard has literally wrestled Himself off of the couch to the floor and I am roiling with hysterical laughter, practically peeing my pants because all I hear is, “Wait, get off, stop, don’t eat my arm you stupid beast, I don’t want you on top of me, I’m all done now, get your paw out of my mouth, don’t be so pushy, don’t knock my glasses, get off my balls you big oaf. . .” And Leonard takes each word as encouragement to further wrestle. Play time!
When I can finally contain my hysterics long enough to take a breath I shout, “Leonard! NO!” BAM! He stops wrestling with Himself and sits at attention, as though ready for the parade! Seriously. Two words that apparently Himself doesn’t know.
It’s probably a good thing Leonard leaves tonight. Now all I have to do is figure out how to get Himself to wear one of those training collars!