Tuesday, August 23, 2016
Today I am grateful for challenges. But I’m probably not going to do them. It seems every day a new “challenge” comes through on social media.
“Thirty-Day Plank Challenge”. I thought someone wanted me to build a shed in thirty days. Then I looked up what “planking” was and I couldn’t have done it if I had really wanted to because I was rolling on the floor laughing so hard that someone in this world or beyond would even imagine that I might consider this, whether or not I was chubby or not! So, no thank you. It’s like a squat-thrust gone wrong!
Then there’s the “no carb” challenge, the “no dairy” challenge, the “no sex” challenge. . .oh wait, I didn’t really get that one. . .and the “no wine stomped by Sherpas in the Himalayans” challenge. I won’t do that one either.
I figure in my lifetime, during any given fad, the following would either be good for me or kill me. Eggs, grapefruit, honey, Red Wine, sugar, beans, lemons, beer, nuts, avocados, pasta, potatoes, white bread, wheat bread, granola, popcorn. . .in other words every single food known to man. . .including bacon. Okay, maybe bacon will kill me but what a way to go!
Then there is the exercise challenge, which I won’t even go into, but if my life depends on the elliptical. . .well. . .just know my affairs are in order!
I used to feel guilty, or less-than, when someone would offer a physical challenge, like ride the biggest roller coaster, or climb mount whatzit carrying your pregnant pack-mule, or for Godsake. . .PLANK. . .for 30 days! ONE day would kill me. (See above “affairs in order” section.)
I guess I’m not very competitive. I also guess I really don’t give a rats-ass what someone else wants to do. Knock yourself out. Have a blast clutching the sides of a man made nightmare as it plunges you to your death. Enjoy climbing those rocks and picking the gravel out of your butt as you slide down a stony cliff in Nepal. I’ll wait for the pictures. In National Geographic.
And you go ahead and plank yourself silly. I’ll be planking from my computer chair, with my laptop, clicking away at how wonderful it is you are meeting your challenges. . .while I’m meeting mine!