Thursday, August 11, 2016
Today I am grateful I don’t have to go back-to-school shopping. I had occasion to sit at the Montgomery Mall while waiting for a friend and saw the nightmare unfold right before my eyes.
Here’s the deal. Girls seemed great and happy as long as they were getting every single thing they wanted. If mom said no, even nicely, their body language would change on the spot, they’d slump and drag their wrists on the ground like orangutans in the rain forest and lumber along twelve steps behind mom and any siblings. I suppose to make a point at how lame their family is. Yeah, God had the right idea by not giving me girls.
Then there are boys. Some boys don’t care one bit what they are going to be wearing and others have to have the exact Abercrombie and Fitch thing that they saw on line. . .once, but never saw them again. And they’ll let you know that nothing else will do. Even if there is no store within 100 miles where you can find anything. Their ass has to say what their ass has to say and that’s final! On-line is sold out because every other kid has them, just like “every” other kid since time began. “Mom! Why do you always wait so long!?” FYI-When shopping goes wrong, it’s mom’s fault. When shopping goes right, it’s got nothing to do with her.
0ther boys take what they can get because they really don’t care and they wish they would still fit in the stuff they got six years ago. When they were seven. They are only there because they were promised a pretzel the size of their head and a Slurpee big enough to swim in. For them it’s all about the food. “Yeah, that’s fine. Whatevs.”
I saw a few dads. . .in. . .credit card down. . .out! BAM! DONE! But mostly it was moms, looking weary and drawn and at the very, very end of their patience! Poor things. It made me so grateful I don’t have to go back-to-school-shopping ever again! If you do—I feel your pain!