Tuesday, August 09, 2016
Today I am grateful for Bissel carpet cleaners. And I want to shoot ours. Except I don’t have a gun and don’t believe in them. . .probably for this exact reason. Every mechanical thing I own would have bullet holes in it at some point. I could go all “Elvis” on that crap big time!
We both went to the gym yesterday and made the conscious decision to NOT go today because we would spend the day shampooing our filthy carpeting. It’s not a dreadful job and Himself doesn’t usually mind it at all because once we get everything up and stacked out of the way, it goes pretty quickly. Except today.
Today the “Ha-Ha-In-Your-Face-If-You-Think-This-Will-Be-Easy-Demons” poked holes in our plans. The ever-trusty Bissel bit the dust. . .or the dust bit it, clogging it so that only the tiny attachment worked and not the major machine. Himself got so frustrated that he thought he might do the carpet with that attachment but I refused to let him. An almost 81 year old man has no business crawling around on the floor all day unless it’s with grandkids.
We have instruction manual for every single thing we’ve purchased since time began, except this bad boy! Of course! This is not our first repair-rodeo, so when we started taking it apart it was with great trepidation. Our curb has been littered with boxes of parts of things that refused to reassemble.
We found one easily removable piece that had a hairball the size of an entire cat clogging it. I cleaned it out and we put it back on to see if magic would happen. Nope. We took off the belly of the beast and Himself started pulling around at stuff, so I left. Just couldn’t take it.
When hands were thrown up in disgust, along with a nicely crafted string of curserei, I went on U-tube. You would not believe how many people have repaired this machine. None of them were our exact model, yet something he saw must have triggered the retired engineer in Himself and he was off with pliers, Q-tips, rubber bands, wire, paperclips, and an assortment of screwdrivers. Metal ones with handles, not the ones with vodka and orange juice.
That sucker got more prep than we do before a colonoscopy! After cleaning every single possible clogged location and testing everything, with water squirting all over the place, assuring it wasn’t clogged, he had to put it back together. Ha-ha! I went to make lunch. At 2 o’clock. It took a little pinching and pulling and shifting and readjusting, and screwing, screwing, screwing. . .oh wait, that was a different word he was using for relatively the same thing.
It worked. The carpet looks fantastic. No Bissel’s were harmed in the cleaning thereof. I promise. You can even check for bullet holes!