Accompanying Information

Prescription instructions

Friday, February 19, 2016

Today I am grateful for accompanying information. . . that I can read without forensic quality, CIA, FBI, KGB, PTA, LOL magnifying equipment.


I recently opened up the packaging for an inhaler.  It said on the box, “Do NOT use until reading all accompanying information.”  Really?  Okay.  I don’t want to use it and start talking like I’m on helium or have my lungs explode, so I try to pry the glued information sheet out of the box.  Forget it!  It came out in pieces.  Boy, they want to be sure these don’t pop out and get swallowed by the rhumba.


Then I started opening up the smush-folded piece of paper.  It was big enough to use as a bedspread!  And the two-sided printing on it reminds me of those tourist pin-heads that have the Lord’s Prayer written on them.  I tried three, yes three pairs of glasses and still couldn’t read it!  Apparently when you are going to print for ants to read, you also have to do it in halftone, using less ink than a tattoo artist on strike.   I wondered if it was a joke and I needed to throw it in a full bathtub and the ink would reappear.  Geeze!


Do I think the manufacture cares so much about my well-being that they need to add War & Peace sized, invisible-ink-encrypted information on my prescription?  Not even close.  When I call them to say my lungs explode out of my body and killed the cat after using this prescription, they want to be able to say, “Did you read the accompanying information?  On It clearly states your lungs could explode and kill the cat. . .”   Lawsuit foiled!  They win.

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