Disappointment

cheesesteak lunch

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Today I am grateful for disappointment.  Without disappointment how could I possible understand satisfaction and joy?

 

We have had to cancel our trip to see our niece get married in Wisconsin, as per doctors strong “suggestion”. I am still in the hospital for at least today and don’t know for sure about tomorrow.  Even when I get out activity is curtailed for a week.  Grrrrr.  I’m being a lamb about this (yeah right, sort of. . .as lambish as I am capable of) because I don’t want to rush anything, but the anguish I feel over missing this huge family event is palpable.

 

I feel as though I am letting everyone down.  My mom, while adamant that I not come, says, “I’m so disappointed I won’t see you.  You know I’m getting old and you never know. . .”  Yeah, I know.  Good ol’ mom can twist it in even when she doesn’t think she is.  Gotta love it.   Truth is, we none of us know when our time will be so I can handle her statement without guilt.

 

My sister is still praying for a miracle, but although I’m feeling stronger, it ain’t happening.  She and I had so many plans to decorate and play and get pedicures and just have fun and I’m bummed about missing all of it.  I even got pretty lavender polish for my toes!  Damn!  But they are in the process right now and I just spoke with the bride and the excitement in her voice makes me so happy, even though we are all bummed.

 

Things happen for a reason, although I always question when they do.  Yesterday, lying on my rubber bed, with my rubber pillows, pushing the legs and head up and down enough to be on a carnival ride, I got to feeling very sorry for myself.

 

Then I saw a huge crash on TV caused by icy conditions and horrible weather on a highway in Indiana, right about where we would have been travelling on our way to Wisconsin.  Maybe we were saved. . .by my nonsense.

 

As incredibly sad as I am, I dried my tears. . .again. . . and then again. . .and again. . .

 

The good news is that the food has ratchetted up a lot from the Emergency Room fare.  Oh relax.  This was the tiniest cheesesteak ever and portion controlled with carb counts listed.  And I ate every crumb.  Delicious!  Who knew that the actual hospital food would NOT be a disappointment?  Go figure.

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One Response to Disappointment

  1. LeAnn Tevsh says:

    Bummer. Sorry to hear you are going to miss the wedding festivities. One of those moments when we know it happens for a reason, but we can’t see why! All is in divine order. Maybe it was a bad weather travel thing. And all the fun things you had planned to do with your sister you can do at another time. When it’s warmer! Hang in and get yourself better! I’m sure the magic man is missing having you at home. LeAnn

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