Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Today I am grateful for Leo. . .and he will be doing the speaking, I am merely the stenographer. From the rental dog, Leo. . .
So on Sunday morning I’m trying sleep in. Who doesn’t want to sleep in on Sunday morning? Even the squirrels sleep in on Sunday morning, though I wouldn’t really know about that for sure because I was. . .well. . .sleeping in!
The woman who is supposed to be catering to my every need, starts banging around in the kitchen. Next thing I know there is a smell wafting through their house that no dog on earth could sleep through. Bacon. Are you kidding me? Bacon?
Of course, I have to get up and go into the kitchen to check it out. Does she give me any? No! Then another big frying pan comes out and she starts pouring this gooey looking batter into it. I know, because I was watching every move she made. That guy was setting the table and making tea (which I hate), but I didn’t care about him because he was nowhere near that bacon, which I believe I was meant to guard.
With a lot of hustle and bustle, they sit at the table and start eating! Without feeding me! Without giving me one single thing! Can you believe it? No matter how hard I stared them down. Nothing! Talk about selfish. My dish just sat there empty, with me starving in front of their eyes. They did nothing! Just kept stuffing their heads with MY bacon.
Finally. . .when they were all done, she took my dish and broke up some pieces of bacon and a little of that left over pancake into the bottom of my dish and he poured that dog food crap over the top. Why do they do that? Put the good stuff on top! Geeze! I tried not to eat the dog part, but I think I ate it anyway because I was so excited about that bacon, sitting there in the bottom of my dish. Delish!
I finished in a hurry and begged for more, but they didn’t cave. I know there was a whole pan of that bacon fat, but every time I tried to whimper to her that I could have that, too, she said, “You can’t have all of that fat. It isn’t good for you. You’ll get sick or poop all over the place.” Who cares! It would be worth it!
I haven’t had a decent meal since! Dog food! Seriously? Do you KNOW me?