Golden Globe Awards

Golden GlobeMonday, January 12, 2015

Today I am grateful for the Golden Globe Awards.  Hah!  So I typed “Royalty-free Golden Globes” into my search engine looking for a picture and this “golden globe” appears.  Perfect!  I’ll take a golden world any day. . .and world peace. . . and if  everyone can wear a beautiful gown all the better.

I love getting a preview with the globes, as to which movies might be up for Academy Awards.  For the last few years we’ve tried to see all of the films up for an Oscar.  I like being informed.  I want to know what all the hype is about.  I love good acting. . .even when sometimes it’s not.  I love bad acting. . .even when sometimes it’s so bad it’s good.  I love movies.  Even bad movies.  There is soooo much more to talk about when you see a really bad movie.  I love good movies, where you are so blown away that you just sit and stare at each other forever, not quite knowing what to say because words can’t describe what you just experienced.  I want more movies like that.

I’m probably the only person who is not in the media who takes notes during the Golden Globes.  My notes are important.  I need to find out how Jennifer Lopez keeps that dress attached to her business.  What happens if the glue fails?  Half of the viewers (men) were praying for a little, er, big, wardrobe malfunction.  Kate Hudson in that unbelievable white dress looked like an exotic cupcake with perfect fondant!  Take that, Cake Boss!  And what freezer has Helen Mirren been in?  AGE. . .for my sake. . .please!  And why have I never heard of the movie, “Pride”?

I made mental notes on jewelry and shoes and what works and what doesn’t and what people looked like when they thought the camera’s weren’t watching.  Now there is the REAL show!  Gimme that show instead of the pre-game shows which are beyond stupid and can be fast-forwarded through in about ten minutes.  I want to see the announcer who says, “Who in the Hell are you again?  What?  Say again.  Quintavexitorjiabulajeumbolias Jones?  Is that with a K or a Q?” (Throws mic up in the air then catching it perfectly like a majorette.) “Cut to Carson on the carpet!  I need a minute.”

And what’s the deal with awards for shows only found on Netflix and Amazon?  Why am I not privy to these shows?  They sound fantastic.  Is this the new way?  Of course it is.  I’m technologically about 10 years behind in my house and 30 in my brain.   I pay a small mortgage for cable and now I won’t get these because they run through a “cloud” someplace?  I can barely run the remote now.  Stop!  No more, please!  I can’t keep up with the on-line-portal at my doctor’s office.  Don’t make me learn more for my entertainment.

I am grateful I have the good sense to record award shows so I can pause to dissect and diss.  Oh who am I kidding.  I pause on George Clooney!  Oh lemme alone. . . Cary Grant is already dead!  I have to go polish my “golden globe”. . .in my mind. . . and study my copious notes.  Let’s see. . .Roll brain-tape. . .”the award for best screenplay based on her best-selling book, goes to. . .Mary Mooney!”  Oh God!  I’m going to have to find another dress!   See you at the Oscars!

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