Today I am grateful for doable New Year’s resolutions. And I am not making any boring, traditional ones like “exercise” or “lose weight”. Beentheredonethat!
It won’t be long before every “E- Don’t Entertain” show, or “Bad News Nightly”, or “We Talk Too Damned Much” show has a plethora of suggestions for resolutions aimed at improving my sorry behind! Fuggetaboutit. I made my own non-list.
This year I’m going to resolve to go to bed and night and get up in the morning. That’s probably the most important thing to do, ever! Especially that getting up thing. I’m going to know where my glasses are. . .even though I have dozens of pairs. . . because I can never put my hands on them when I want them. I’m going to brush my teeth. And floss. And chew with them. And hopefully keep all of them.
When I’ve mastered those resolutions, I’m going to make up NEW swear words to use on the idiot who thinks his car is connected to mine by a six-foot chain like the one my dad used to drag my useless-pieces-o-junk around town with when I was younger. “Back off M*(%$^f&@#$r!” just doesn’t seem enough anymore. . .even with hand gestures.
So that’s it! I’m grateful my New Year’s resolutions are doable. These won’t end up on the “shoulda-resolved-to-keep-it-up” list by January 15th.